This is Twitter’s fault. I read a tweet about how Paula is going Kid Krazy. Then, with the irresistible compulsion of a traffic wreck, I had to see more. Airing May 30th and again June 6th, Paula’s Best Dishes is indeed ‘Kid Krazy.’ Is this really a good idea?

Firstly, traditional Southern cooking while delicious; in certain hands is not exactly a paragon of healthful eating. It can be given to excesses in certain ingredients (read here FAT and SUGAR) and in the quantity of said ingredients (read here LOTS of fat and sugar). And the cuisine of Ms. Deen has less restraint in these areas than her muumuu.

Secondly, while promoting her cookery, which includes all the ingredients for a diabetes pot pie-except the supplemental insulin; she developed diabetes herself. Did she come clean and announce her condition? No. Did she address the dietary aspects of living with diabetes? No. Did she start to modify her program and address portion sizes-or even her own size? No. Did she at least mention if that you’re going to consume more sweets than Orson Wells on a 3 day candy-land bender you might want to look into an exercise program? No.The one thing it seems Paula was doing during the ensuing years before she made a public announcement regarding diabetes was securing for herself a lucrative contract as a spokesperson for…ready…a diabetes drug!

While she was hiding her sweet side she was busy promoting her latest children’s cookbook at the time;  Paula Deen’s Cookbook for the Lunch-Box Set. This little gem offered cheesecake for breakfast and chocolate cake for lunch. Don’t take my word for it, Barbara Walters noted when Ms. Deen visited The View, “You tell kids to have cheesecake for breakfast. You tell them to have chocolate cake and meatloaf for lunch. And french fries… Everything you have here is enormously fattening.”

But hearken, ye of jaded view, now she is promoting a ‘healthy twist on her classic recipes.’ What qualifies someone to be an ‘expert’ in healthy cuisine on the television, I have no idea. It does not seem any medical, nutritional, physiological or dietetic knowledge is prerequisite. Like the sage on a recent television show telling people to eat with their non-dominant hand to slow down and consume less. And spill half their food in their lap; your date will be so impressed at the calories you saved by hiding your food in your crotch. Oh, and put carbonated water in your wine to cut calories. Why are you drinking it in the first place? You can also piss in my glass and that will limit consumption of any wine. Along with leaving a steaming dump on my plate; I guarantee that will compel me to eat less. But while it may work, none of that means it is a well advised strategy.

Yet perhaps Ms. Deen has actually exchanged her dessert shovel for a salad fork; what’s on the menu for her kids’ show? Well, there’s cheesy quesadillas featuring butter and sour cream. There’s green eggs and ham featuring eggs, bread and processed meats like ham-oh and more butter. But the kids are alright, she serves some healthy yogurt pops for dessert. In between there is some rendition of a meatball made with several canned goods. Don’t want to miss out on your daily dose of BPAs. All this and Paula claims she is The Matron of Moderation? The only message I see from this Gordon Gekko of Gastronomy seems to be “Gluttony is Good.”

Putting Paula Deen in front of your kids to teach them healthful eating habits is like putting Bernie Madoff in charge of the Treasury. Worse it’s like giving Bernie your kid’s piggy bank-and their pancreas. Might as well put Captain Jack in charge of the rum. At least he tells you he is a pirate. He is honestly dishonest. There is that whole code thing, you know. What is Paula’s code beyond a buck? The networks continue to air her old programs with their self destructive message.  Her new ones just can’t seem to break with her tried and true formula that had brought her such success. When she is queried about the her cuisine, her response is, “All things in moderation.”

My prescription is that bit of advice be applied to her, her food and her programming. And for those particularly susceptible, like kids, I think she garners an XXX-tra large label. No one under eighteen allowed to view -it could be hazardous to their waistlines, and their health.

If you agree please ‘like’ and share on FB! Let’s try for 100 ‘likes’ before this thing airs!